J.D. Prose – 11/1/08

This page was last updated on November 5, 2008.

Political Prose: Who has the tools to fix America?; J.D. Prose; Beaver County Times; November 1, 2008.

As you read this opinion column, keep in mind Mr. Prose wears at least one other hat for the Times. Mr. Prose is also a reporter covering political stories. Ask yourself this. When a person gives his political opinions in one part of the paper, can he be trusted to report politics objectively elsewhere in the paper? After all, would a person whose opinion is 1+1 equals 3 report 1+1 really equals 2?

Below is a detailed critique of the subject column.

“Bear with us as we share this pre-Election Day parable.

“A few years ago, our lovely wife was having car trouble. We took it (the car, not the wife) to one of those chain shops that we’d used forever. We’ll call it the Bush Garage. Although we weren’t happy with them, we were comfortable. Better the devil you know, right?”

[RWC] Mr. Prose was “comfortable” with the Bush Garage? In which alternative reality?

You’ll note the name-calling in Mr. Prose’s “the devil you know” comment. If you read the entire column, you find Mr. Prose described his opponents in demonic terms in two places. Later in the column (in a portion I didn’t critique) Mr. Prose asserted, “To truly end this, though, Altmire will need a wooden stake and a hammer.” To Mr. Prose, apparently Melissa Hart is a vampire in need of execution. President Bush is a “devil” and Ms. Hart is a vampire? This is the guy who writes of “fear and ignorance” later in the column?

“They supposedly fixed the problem, but the car broke down again. Back in the shop. More money. Another breakdown. More money. Another breakdown. More money.”

[RWC] If you’re waiting to hear what the problem was, save your time. No details are forthcoming from Mr. Prose. All we get are the same generalities we get from letters to the editor.

“This went on for months until the Bush Garage threw in the towel and told us we should just junk the car. It was unfixable. Well, we don’t have to tell you that things were bleak, folks.”

[RWC] The garage must have been referring to the automotive equivalent of Medicare, Socialist Security, et cetera.

“Now, we could’ve tried another shop in the Bush Garage chain that was just managed by somebody else. Someone named, oh, McCain. But, what would’ve been the point in that? We didn’t have much confidence that there’d be any difference. We were tired of the whole company.”

[RWC] Ah, the “McCain = Bush” tactic. How original. I’m sure you remember before he became the Republican candidate for President, the press lauded Mr. McCain as a “maverick” for bucking President Bush on a number of issues. After Mr. McCain won the Republican nomination, however, the press magically transformed him into a clone of Mr. Bush.

“So, we took the car to a completely different garage … we’ll call it the Obama Shop. It was one we never thought about using before because everyone said it’d rip us off and was too expensive, but desperate times call for desperate measures.”

[RWC] The Obama Shop is also “one of those chain shops,” currently headquartered in Chicago. FYI, other franchisees included “Stagflation” Carter, “Great Society” Johnson, and “Socialist Security” Roosevelt.

“And, you know what? They fixed the problem. For $20. It’s been three years and we still have the car … and only take it to the Obama Shop.”

[RWC] If the problem is fixed, why do you have to keep going back to the Obama Shop?

“What’s the moral here? Don’t let fear and ignorance keep you from doing the right thing. America needs a new mechanic. And, you get to help fix the problem Tuesday.”

[RWC] “America needs a new mechanic.” I know Mr. Prose “reports” and opines on politics, but does he know President Bush isn’t running in this election?

Ah, it’s not a real Prose column without name-calling. In case you missed it, those of us who don’t vote for Mr. Obama suffer from “fear and ignorance.” I thought the official campaign descriptions were “racist,” “redneck,” “clinging,” et cetera.

Did you note what was missing from this “parable?” That’s right, Mr. Prose never told us what the alleged “problem” was.

Actually, I feel a little sad for Mr. Prose. You see, the car in this parable apparently represents Mr. Prose’s life and he believes it’s broken. It’s pretty sad when you believe the government is responsible for fixing your broken life. It’s even worse if you actually believe it when a snake oil salesman claims he can “fix” your life.